Wings and Tomatoes
by F23
Summary: A regular afternoon with Pit and Roy. Are angel wings masculine or feminine? A short one-shot.


"What's it like to fly?" Roy asked without looking up.

Pit, on the other hand, was looking out the window with a blank expression on his face. But he turned to Roy and gave him a dirty look. "You know I can't fly that well."

It took Roy a while to put his book down and look up at him. By the time he bookmarked his place with a finger, Pit was already staring back at the sky peering through the foliage with a slight frown on his face.

"Why can't you?" He pressed on.

Pit groaned and pointed at his wings. The wings were nothing out of the ordinary; they were white, with a hint of blue when it was in the shade and Roy liked them. He shrugged. For a human like Roy, the wings were fascinating and seemed like they would take flight at any time. But for Pit, they were a little underdeveloped for his age.

"They. Are. Small."

"Well, make them bigger."

"I would if I could!"

"Then you should because you would if you... could?" Roy tilted his head. He smiled to see if his friend would smile back, but Pit kept his annoyed frown.

"But it's still nice that you have wings. I don't have anything."

"You have a cool cape." Pit quickly replied. In fact, it was so quick, Roy blinked and accidentally let go of his finger holding the page in his book. But instead of trying to find it again, he tossed the book lightly on the bed and sat upright.

Roy wasn't wearing his cape at the moment. It was hung up on the wall with a simple hangar just above his armor, which was placed in the corner of the room. That was soon disturbed when Pit scrambled to his feet to grab it. The hangar clattered as it hit the bed frame and onto the floor. He didn't bother to pick it up and assembled the deep purple cloth around his neck.

Once he finished fumbling with the cape, Pit put his hands on his waist and beamed as if to resemble a superhero. Roy couldn't help but stifle a chuckle.

"Nice hunchback there."

"See, that's the problem! I love capes. But my wings are in the way and I look like one of those mad scientist assistants! Ugh."

Roy cleared his throat. "Igor! Flip the switch!"

"Yeeees master. ...Roy! I don't wanna be an Igor!"

"Haha. You're just too easy to make fun of."

Pit balled his fists and stomped on the ground like a child pleading for something they can't have. To another person, the two may have looked more like brothers than friends.

"What do you prefer? Wings or capes?" Roy asked after a good laugh.

"Both. It's sexist to choose one."

"Sexist? So wings are feminine and capes are masculine."

"Hey, wings are so manly. Have you seen Charizard and Meta Knight?"

"But those are manly wings. You have angel wings."

"Oh! Ohh! Are you questioning my masculinity?" Pit ran his hands roughly at his body, which was slender, not muscular, but that was a good thing if he wanted to fly.

Roy rolled his eyes. "Come and at 'em angel boy"

"That's it! We're settling this outside!"

Pit puffed his cheeks and threw off the cape. He stormed out the door and Roy followed his example. He had a smile on his face because he saw Pit left his bow on the ground and wondered how he was going to "settle" this.

* * *

><p>Once the two reached the ground floor of the mansion, Pit marched up to the kitchen to look at the whiteboard. There were many rules the members followed everyday because of the enormity of the mansion and the number of eccentric people (although some weren't "people", per se) that inhabited it.<p>

The whiteboard in the kitchen was used for voting what was going to be for dinner. A roughly written question read: "What do you guys wanna eat tonight? Deadline for requests is 4:00PM!" Underneath that were various suggestions such as pasta, barbecue outside, paella (Pit had to wonder what this dish was), and many more that were illegible. But the paella was the one that was circled over and over with black marker to indicate that was the menu for tonight.

Mario was lounging on the couch nearby and Pit skipped up to him. "Mario, Mario, what's paella?"

"Paella?" Mario eyed the whiteboard, where Roy waved back at them. "Oh that's what's for dinner. Paella is a Spanish dish with rice, seafood, and tomatoes. I think you'll love it."

"Rice, seafood, and tomatoes…" Pit mused.

Just as Pit was thinking about his grand plan, Fox passed by with a basket full of tomatoes. He set the woven basket down for a second to catch his breath. The fruit was plump and picked a bit late to enhance the deep red color. As Pit picked one up, he rubbed it gently and found it was smooth like it was coated with oil.

Fox leaned on the couch and smiled. "We're using that for dinner tonight. Captain Falcon said we need two more baskets full of them. Apparently he knows how to make a killer paella, or whatever it's called."

Pit's eyes glittered with anticipation. "Did you say _two_ more baskets?"

The sun was starting to tilt into the horizon when the two friends were decked out in long-sleeve shirts, jeans, gloves, rubber boots, and the enormous woven basket to complete the look. Roy was a little bit embarrassed but Pit was the one that was set to dress like this to get in the "mood".

"Why do you always settle your arguments with something peaceful?"

"_My_ arguments? I think you're involved in this too. The first one to fill a basket full of tomatoes and present to Captain Falcon wins. It's a battle, and it helps with making dinner. Two birds with one stone!"

Roy chuckled at his friend as usual.

The kids started to gather at the garden to see the two friends compete. Some of them cheered on and others placed bets on who gets to have the first-in-line-for-dinner priority. Link materialized from the back, exhausted from the hours playing with the kids at the nearby park. He saw Pit and Roy dressed up for battle and snickered.

Samus was waiting at the door, with her arms crossed impatiently. Link noticed that he was late for helping out in the kitchen. The curfew was four, but it was already five thirty. He said his apologies and tried to usher the kids to take a bath.

"But I need to see if Pit wins!" Popo tugged at Link's tunic.

"No! Are you kidding me? Roy's going to win like always." Toon Link nudged his friend with his elbow. He tried to keep a low voice, but Pit cocked his head back angrily. "I heard that!"

Toon Link yelped and hid behind Link. "Come on kids," Link pushed the group into the mansion and continued on to the showers. Some of the children were booing and threw a tantrum because they wanted to see Roy and Pit compete.

"Tell me the results later, guys!" Link called out to his friends.

"You won't need to because I'll win!" Pit replied, throwing his fists in the air. Link laughed, and pushed the kids on to the shower room. Although he did wonder why the two didn't settle this with a quick brawl. But peace was Pit's motto, with his passion to defeat Roy in a tomato picking contest.

* * *

><p>About an hour later, the two friends ended their competition just as the sun went down. Both Pit and Roy presented Captain Falcon with an overflowing basket of tomatoes.<p>

"Good job, guys. You both win!"

"What!" Pit cried. "This is a _battle_, we can't have a draw!"

Captain Falcon winced at Pit's fervor. He looked at Roy for help but the auburn general just shrugged. He too was stumped to convince Pit. And the fact that the kitchen started to smell of cooked tomatoes and seafood made Roy's mouth water and forget about the so called "argument".

"Well, um… I can count the tomatoes. Why don't you two go take a shower while I'm at that?"

"All right. But make sure to count it at least twice, Captain!"

"Oh brother. So what were we arguing about again?" Roy sighed.

"If angel wings are masculine or not. You know, if wings are feminine, how do you explain Angemon?"

"Are you talking about Digimon? Ah, good times."

"I loved Digimon man, what's your favor… Wait! We're arguing!" Pit snapped out of his good memories of watching Digimon and punched Roy on the shoulder.

"Just drop it already." Roy laughed.

Seeing the two friend walk off to the shower room laughing (Roy was the only one laughing, but Pit wasn't seriously angry), Captain Falcon nodded and smiled.

* * *

><p>As the two came out of the shower rooms still arguing, Captain Falcon came out with a white frilled apron and said the number of tomatoes the two picked were the same: fifty-two. Before Pit could say anything, Roy quickly came to the conclusion that capes and wings don't have a gender.<p>

"What do you mean they don't have a gender?"

"Well they don't make babies."

"Hey. Some snails don't have a gender and they make babies."

"Whatever. What I'm trying to get at is capes and wings are both masculine and feminine."

Pit pursed his lips and sat there for a moment, accidentally dropping a spoonful of paella back onto his plate. He scooped up a bigger spoonful and shoved the rice in his mouth, muffling: "Capes and wings can be girls?"

"Sure. There are superheroes that are guys and superheroes that are girls. And there's Angemon and angels like you."

"Ohh… I get it. Wait."

Roy quickly stood up in his seat with his empty plate.

"Angemon is the manliest angel alive, so are you calling me feminine?" Pit yelled through a mouth full.

"Wait, you're a guy?" Roy purposefully made a disgusted face as he cringed.

"Roy, we are _so_ brawling later!"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: I have a feeling Pit and Roy would be bros but they would argue often. And I imagine Roy to be the sarcastic, mature one. I might make more one-shots like this in the future.<p> 


End file.
